How to Stage an Intervention: A Step-by-Step Guide

When Individual Conversations Aren't Working: The Intervention ApproachYou've tried talking to your addicted loved one individually. You've expressed concern, offered help, set boundaries. Nothing has worked. They continue using, denying the problem, making promises they don't keep. The situation is becoming desperate—they're going to lose everything, hurt someone, or die if something doesn't change soon.

This is when families often consider a formal intervention: gathering together to confront the person about their addiction and present a unified demand that they enter treatment immediately. Done well, interventions can break through denial and motivate someone to accept help. Done poorly, they can backfire spectacularly, pushing the person deeper into addiction and damaging family relationships.

This guide provides step-by-step instructions for planning and executing an effective intervention, based on approaches that actually work. Whether you hire a professional interventionist or do it yourself, understanding these principles will dramatically increase your chances of success.

What is an Intervention?

The Basic Concept

An intervention is a carefully planned meeting where family members and close friends confront someone about their addiction and present a unified message: "We love you, we're concerned about you, and we need you to accept treatment now."

The intervention includes specific examples of how the addiction has affected each person, clear consequences if the person refuses treatment, and immediate arrangements for the person to enter treatment (transportation ready, bags packed, treatment center expecting them).

The goal is to create a crisis that breaks through denial and motivates the person to accept help they've been refusing.

When to Consider an Intervention

Interventions are not a first step—they're a last resort when other approaches have failed. Consider an intervention when individual conversations haven't worked, the person refuses to acknowledge they have a problem, the situation is becoming dangerous (risk of overdose, serious health problems, legal consequences), and the family is united and ready to follow through with consequences.Don't use an intervention as a first attempt to address the problem. Try individual conversations, expressions of concern, and offers of help first. Reserve intervention for when these gentler approaches have failed.

Step 1: Decide Whether to Hire a Professional Interventionist

The Case for Professional Help

Professional interventionists bring expertise, objectivity, and structure to a highly emotional situation. They help you plan the intervention, coach participants on what to say, keep the meeting on track when emotions run high, and handle resistance and manipulation from the addicted person.

Professional interventionists significantly increase success rates. Studies show that professionally-led interventions result in treatment acceptance 80-90% of the time, compared to 50-60% for family-led interventions.

The cost is typically $2,000-5,000, which is substantial but may be worth it given the stakes.

When You Might Do It Yourself

Families sometimes conduct interventions without professional help when they cannot afford an interventionist, the family is small and united, someone in the family has experience with interventions or addiction treatment, or the situation is urgent and there's no time to arrange professional help.

If you choose to do it yourself, follow the guidelines in this article carefully. The principles are the same whether you have professional help or not.

Step 2: Form the Intervention Team

Who Should Participate

Choose people who have a genuine relationship with the addicted person and whose opinion they value. This typically includes parents, siblings, spouse or partner, close friends, adult children (if appropriate), and possibly employers, coaches, or mentors.

Ideal team size: 4-8 people. Too few and it lacks impact. Too many and it becomes overwhelming and chaotic.

Who Should NOT Participate

Exclude people who are currently using drugs or alcohol themselves, have unresolved anger or hostility toward the person, cannot control their emotions or stay calm, are likely to be manipulated by the person's excuses, or are not willing to follow through with stated consequences.

One hostile or emotional participant can derail the entire intervention. Be selective.

Getting Everyone on the Same Page

Before the intervention, meet with all participants (without the addicted person) to discuss the plan, agree on the message and consequences, practice what each person will say, and commit to following through.

Everyone must be united. If one person is likely to back down or make excuses for the addicted person, don't include them in the intervention.

Step 3: Plan the Logistics

Choose the Right Time and Place

Time: Choose when the person is likely to be sober (often morning). Don't attempt an intervention when they're high, drunk, or in withdrawal. Also avoid times when they're rushing to work or have other commitments that give them an excuse to leave.

Place: Choose a private, comfortable location where you won't be interrupted. This is often someone's home, but not the addicted person's home (where they can kick you out). The location should feel safe and neutral.

Surprise vs. Invitation: Most interventions are surprises—the person is invited to the location under a different pretense and then confronted with the intervention. This prevents them from avoiding it or preparing defenses. However, some interventionists prefer to tell the person in advance, arguing that this shows respect and reduces defensiveness.

Arrange Treatment in Advance

This is crucial: have treatment arranged and ready before the intervention. The person should be able to go directly from the intervention to treatment—that day, ideally within hours.

What to arrange:

• Treatment center selected and bed reserved
• Payment arranged (insurance approved or funds available)
• Bags packed for the person (someone should do this in advance)
• Transportation ready (car, flight booked, etc.)

If the person agrees to treatment but then has to wait days or weeks for a bed to open up, they'll likely change their mind. The window of willingness is brief—be ready to move immediately.

Prepare for Different Outcomes

Have a plan for each possible outcome:

If they agree to treatment: Who will transport them? What happens with their apartment, car, pets, job? Who will handle these logistics?

If they refuse treatment: What are the consequences? Who will enforce them? Where will they go if they can't stay where they've been living?

If they become violent or threaten self-harm: When will you call police or emergency services? Who will make that call?

Don't wait until the intervention to figure these things out. Plan in advance.

Step 4: Prepare What You'll Say

The Letter Format

Each participant should prepare a letter to read during the intervention. The letter should be written down and read verbatim—this keeps people on track when emotions run high.

Effective letter structure:

Opening: "I'm here because I love you and I'm worried about you."

Specific examples: "I've seen you [specific behavior] and it scared me." Use concrete examples with dates and details, not generalizations.

Impact statement: "When you [behavior], I felt [emotion] because [reason]."

Request: "I'm asking you to accept treatment today. We have everything arranged and ready."

Consequence: "If you choose not to accept treatment, I will [specific consequence]."

Closing: "I love you and I believe you can recover. I'm here to support your recovery."

What to Include

Specific, concrete examples: Not "You're always drunk," but "Last Tuesday, you showed up to Thanksgiving dinner so intoxicated you couldn't stand up. The children were frightened."

Personal impact: How their addiction has affected you specifically. "I lie awake at night terrified that I'll get a call that you've overdosed."

Love and concern: Make it clear this comes from love, not judgment or punishment.

Clear consequences: Specific actions you will take if they refuse treatment. Not vague threats, but concrete consequences you're prepared to enforce.

What to Avoid

Accusations and blame: "You're a selfish addict who doesn't care about anyone."

Generalizations: "You always..." or "You never..."

Bringing up old grievances: This isn't the time to rehash every wrong they've ever done.

Ultimatums you won't enforce: Only state consequences you're absolutely prepared to follow through on.

Enabling language: "We'll help you quit on your own" or "Maybe you can just cut back."

Practice Reading Your Letters

Before the intervention, practice reading your letter out loud. This helps you get through it without breaking down emotionally and lets you refine the wording. Practice staying calm and loving even when stating difficult consequences.

Step 5: Conduct the Intervention

The Opening

One person (usually the organizer or professional interventionist) opens the meeting by explaining why everyone is gathered.

"We're all here because we love you and we're concerned about your drug use. Each of us has something we want to share with you. We're asking you to listen to what we have to say, and then we'll talk about what happens next."

Set ground rules: "We're asking you to listen until everyone has had a chance to speak. Then you'll have a chance to respond."

Reading the Letters

Each person reads their letter in turn. The order matters—start with the people the addicted person is closest to or most likely to listen to. Save the most emotional or confrontational people for later.

If the person tries to interrupt, argue, or leave:

"We're asking you to hear us out. This is important."

"We know this is hard to hear. Please stay and listen."

If they become abusive or violent, end the intervention and call for help if needed. But most people, even if angry or defensive, will stay and listen if the approach is loving rather than attacking.

The Response

After everyone has read their letters, give the person a chance to respond. They will likely:

• Deny there's a problem
• Make excuses
• Promise to quit on their own
• Get angry and blame others
• Try to negotiate ("I'll go to outpatient" instead of residential)
• Attempt to manipulate specific people

Effective responses:

"We understand you don't think you have a problem. But we've all seen what we've seen, and we're asking you to trust us and accept help."

"We've heard you promise to quit on your own before. We need you to accept professional treatment this time."

"We're not here to argue or negotiate. We're asking you to go to treatment today. Everything is arranged and ready."

The Ask

Present the treatment plan clearly:

"We have a bed reserved for you at [treatment center name] in South Africa. The flight leaves in four hours. Your bags are packed. We're asking you to go today."

Make it as easy as possible for them to say yes. Remove all obstacles and logistics.

The Consequences

If they refuse, calmly state the consequences:

"We love you and we hope you'll accept treatment. But if you choose not to go, here's what will happen:"

Each person states their consequence:

• "You can no longer live in my home."
• "I will not give you money or pay your bills."
• "I will not bail you out of legal trouble."
• "I will not lie or make excuses for you anymore."

Make it clear that these are not punishments but necessary boundaries to protect yourselves and to stop enabling the addiction.

The Closing

End with love and hope:

"We love you. We believe you can recover. Treatment is available today, and we're here to support you through it. What do you decide?"

Step 6: Follow Through

If They Agree to Treatment

Move immediately. Don't give them time to change their mind. Get them in the car and to the airport or treatment center as quickly as possible.

Stay calm and supportive during transport. This is not the time to lecture or express anger. The intervention worked—now focus on getting them safely to treatment.

Once they're admitted, follow the treatment center's guidelines for family contact. Give them space to focus on their recovery.

If They Refuse Treatment

This is heartbreaking, but it happens. If they refuse, you must follow through with the stated consequences immediately and consistently.

If you said they can't live in your home, change the locks that day. If you said you won't give money, don't give in when they ask. If you said you won't bail them out, don't answer the call from jail.

Following through is essential. If you back down, you've taught them that your words are meaningless and that they can continue using without real consequences.

The Waiting Period

If they refuse treatment, you enter a waiting period. You've planted seeds. You've made clear that treatment is available and that you won't enable the addiction. Now you wait for consequences to create a crisis that motivates them to accept help.

This waiting period is agonizing. You'll be tempted to rescue them, to give "one more chance," to back down on your boundaries. Don't. Maintaining boundaries is the most loving thing you can do.

Many people refuse treatment at the intervention but accept it days, weeks, or months later when consequences accumulate. Your job is to keep the door to treatment open while maintaining boundaries around enabling.

Common Challenges and How to Handle Them

"I'll quit on my own"

"We've heard that before and it hasn't happened. We need you to accept professional treatment this time."

"I don't need residential treatment, I'll do outpatient"

"We've researched this carefully and we believe residential treatment is what you need. That's what we're offering."

"You're all ganging up on me"

"We're here because we love you. This isn't an attack—it's an expression of how much we care."

"I'll go next week/next month"

"The treatment bed is available today. We need you to go now. If you wait, you'll change your mind."

Blaming others for their addiction

"We're not here to argue about whose fault this is. We're here to ask you to accept treatment."

Threatening self-harm

Take this seriously. If you believe the threat is genuine, call emergency services immediately. Don't let fear of this threat prevent you from holding boundaries.

Trying to negotiate with specific people

If they try to manipulate one person (often a parent or spouse), that person should redirect: "We're all united in this. The answer is the same from all of us."

After the Intervention: Family Healing

Whether the intervention results in treatment or not, the family needs healing. Consider family therapy, Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings, and individual therapy for family members who are traumatized.

If the person enters treatment, participate in family therapy sessions offered by the treatment center. Addiction affects the whole family, and recovery requires family healing too.

The South Africa Advantage for Interventions

When planning an intervention, having treatment arranged in South Africa offers unique advantages:

Immediate removal from environment: The person goes directly from the intervention to the airport, removing them from triggering people and places immediately.

Distance prevents impulsive leaving: Once in South Africa, they can't easily leave treatment and return to using. The distance creates a buffer.

Cost makes long-term treatment feasible: The 60-70% cost savings mean you can afford the 3-6 month treatment that's actually effective, not just a 28-day program.

Fresh start: Returning after months in South Africa, completely sober, allows for a genuine fresh start in family relationships.

Professional Support for Intervention Planning

If you're considering an intervention, professional guidance can dramatically increase your chances of success.

Contact Narconon Africa:

• Phone: +27 (0)800 014 559 (24/7 Confidential Support)
• Website: www.narcononafrica.org.za
• Location: Magaliesberg Mountains, North-West Province, South Africa

The staff can help you plan an intervention, arrange immediate treatment, and provide guidance on handling different scenarios. They've worked with hundreds of families in similar situations and can help you navigate this difficult process.

Don't wait until the situation becomes even more desperate. If you're considering an intervention, reach out for professional guidance now. Your loved one's life may depend on it.